Milledge in Hot Water with Teammates

Less than 24 hours after Lastings Milledge’s arrival to Shea Stadium, the outspoken young outfielder was in the midst of yet another controversy: “Sock-Gate.” Sources close to the team have refused to comment, deferring all inquiries to Public Relations Director Jay Horowitz’s office; Horowitz was not available for comment at the time of the story. Though the Mets front office remains quiet, not all members of the organization are maintaining silence.

Lonestar Mets has learned that All-Star closer Billy Wagner is the spokesman for the veteran players on the team, who apparently have a problem with the way Milledge puts on his socks prior to the game.

“It’s just one of those unwritten rules.” The southpaw explained, “You don’t just show up here and put on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe, you haven’t paid your dues.”

When prompted by reporters as to why this is an issue that would raise concern from veteran players, Wagner quickly replied, “Don’t you know that the whole rookie world puts on a sock and a sock and a shoe and a shoe?” Wagner explained, “Look, say there was a fire in the club house, and it was raining outside when say, David Wright had only put on two socks, meanwhile Lastings was wearing a sock and a shoe” Wagner continued sternly, “David’s been here, paid his dues, why should he walk around in wet socks while Milledge could hop around all day and keep his feet dry feet?”

Some in the clubhouse felt less incensed by Milledge’s dressing methods, Veteran Pitcher Tom Glavine was even tempered, though obviously disappointed, “it’s not an example you want kids to follow, ya know” the starter explained, “I mean, what if the other sock’s got a hole in it? Kids are going to grow up thinking that you gotta take off a whole shoe and a sock.”

The unapologetic Milledge was quoted pleading “I just like to take care of one foot at a time” before he was quicky ushered into the training room by firstbase coach Howard Johnson.

While the footwear habits were met with almost unanimous condemnation, notorious racist and alleged gambling addict Paul LoDuca stated, “as long as it gets you guys to stop overanalyzing everything I say, I really don’t give a Sh#t.”

Update: Rumors abound that Milledge’s controversial hosiery method has prompted the club to trade the young outfielder and cash to Texas for respected veteran and power hitter Sammy Sosa.

NOTE TO READER: I am obviously kidding here. If you don’t get the reference, you are too young or don’t watch enough syndicated television. I just thought it would be fun to break the first Milledge non-controversy. Hope you got a laugh.

Posted under Humorous

This post was written by Dan in Texas on July 13, 2007

9 Comments so far

  1. Ranger Frog July 13, 2007 5:50 pm

    You have a pretty good sense of humor. I laughed!!

  2. Bryan July 14, 2007 1:37 pm

    Great post. Truly hysterical.

  3. dave July 14, 2007 5:54 pm

    LOL. Original. Love it, but the way this season is going I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true either.

  4. Kris July 16, 2007 8:41 am

    Ah, yes. Classic All In The Family. Well done.

  5. JMP July 16, 2007 9:37 am

    It’s a good thing neither Al Leiter nor John Franco are still on the team. Otherwise, they’d get Milledge shipped out for 10 cents on the dollar just like they did to that rabble-rouser Scott Kazmir. :)

  6. Ap July 16, 2007 1:48 pm

    That was awesome. Don’t even put the disclaimer on the end…..let people actually believe it (cause we know that Milledge fellow just doesn’t get it).

  7. AJW July 16, 2007 4:45 pm

    Milledge is great he keeps Ricky Henderson from saying that the Mets are racist because they dont have enough black players.

  8. MetsBrotha July 17, 2007 2:08 pm

    Hilarious stuff! I’m with AP, go without the disclaimer and see who takes this seriously. Good stuff

  9. Luis July 19, 2007 9:56 pm

    I remember that episode! I watched it at my grandparents house as a kid in the 70s.


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