Back in Dallas after taking in the final two games of the Astros Mets series. I was in attendance for one of the most exciting tension filled games I have ever attended followed by one of the most depressing games I’ve ever attended.

The Game; The Catch
If you were willing to stay awake Saturday night you were treated to a fantastic 17 inning battle. The Mets, though struggling at the plate, were able to hang on and win the game with sharp work from the pen and some overdue timely situational hitting. Beltran’s catch was amazing considering if he cant climb the unnecessary hill, the Mets lose the game.

I still feel, despite the egg laying in the series finally, that this may be the game that changes the season and defines 2007 in general. Losing after a hard fought 17 inning marathon is excusable or at least understandable when the next game is a day game featuring the opponents best pitcher against an emergency starter making his first start back from injury. Is this in fact the game that changes the direction of 2007? Time will tell, it will be a long, steep hill to climb.

Sorry for the cheesy pun.
 

Since my good friend Toasty Joe is preoccupied with his new bride, I thought I would go ahead and name F*cktard of the Week in Joe’s absence.

This weeks F-tard goes to this guy.

You may recall my tips for visiting Minute Maid Park from last week, warning you that anyone wearing either maroon or marked with a logo from Texas A&M University is most certainly a complete idiot. Well Mr. and Mrs. Lonestar Met were able to capture a photographic example of such idiocy. For those of you who don’t know, A&M for whatever unknown reason, disdains the use of hottie cheerleaders and instead uses these guys, notice the unfortunate style of haircuts.

I don’t know if this guy was a Yell-leader or a wannabe Yell-Leader, but he fit the profile and I really doubt he was a Marine (he was wearing an Aggie hat at one point.) So Superfan number 99 here spends between the time the David Wright ties the game through around the 11th inning attempting to scoreboard us (apparently oblivious to the fact that the score is tied), not watching the game, “whooping” and then trying to start the wave with mixed results. I know someone said it before me, but anyone over the age of 12 who participates in the wave during the late innings of a tie ball game, much less an extra inning affair, should be escorted from the premises. I submit that anyone who attempts to start a wave during the late innings of a tie ball game should receive a lifetime ban from the stadium.

Anyway, Astro-superfan leaves in the 12th inning. Way to go there buddy, not only are you not devoted to “your team”, an ignorant baseball “fan” but you are Lonestar Mets (filling in for Toasty Joe’s) F-Tard of the Week. 

The Homerun Derby

As of 2007 I have sworn off the pre-game festivity due to the human ass whip that is Chris Berman. During a homerun derby it is ridiculous to use the worn out catch phrase “BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK” in order to do the play by play of a FREAKING HOME RUN CONTEST. Chris Berman is a microcosm of ESPN, a bloated, catchphrase-spewing, stale annoyance whose time has come and gone 10 years ago. It really is a shame; I used to love the Homerun Derby.

As for the All-Star Game proper, Major League Baseball still has the best form of All-Star Game despite Fox’s best attempts to change that, and I will be watching the Mid-Summer Classic and will be providing a post game recap, and hopefully some reaction to Jose Reyes’ first time actually playing in the game as the starting Shortstop for the National League.

Make sure to check back to Lonestarmets.com

17 innings, cringe moments, who knows what else.

I brought my “Wake Up Mets!” sign but didn’t display it as we sat glued to our seats through agonizing innings. In the top of the 17th I figured I would shake a few things up.

Too brain dead and exausted for details right now, I will have more shortly.

There is no way this slump is ever going to end. I don’t see any way out of it. It’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop It.

After that stink fest Lonestar Mets is going to Houston…oh yeah, Houston, you have a problem. I swear to God I am going to will two more wins out of this team or die trying.

Anyway , I am will be at the next two games to cheer on the Amazins, look for the Lonestar Mets Signs and check back for many pictures and first person accounts for the final two games before the All Star Break.

Sorry for the short post but I have been meaning to mention two things…

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time (I have many) was from the Movie Oh God! starting the great John Denver and the even greater George Burns.

“The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea.”

Pure genius. On that note Sidd Finch over at The Metwork has a very funny conversation with the almighty in that style regarding the 2007 Mets. It’s a must read, check it out.

Funny Stuff!

If you haven’t checked this out yet make sure you check out Dana Brand’s Blog and website for his book Mets Fan. There are five fantastic chapters you can read online entitled Mets Fan, For Shea, Mr. Met, Yankee Hatred and Marrying the Red Sox. It is a great read and I am already jonesing to read the entire book. If the sample chapters are any indication Mets Fan will soon be sitting on my shelf among the great works of Peter Golenbock, Jeff Pearlman, Howard Blatt, Dennis D’Agostino and Leonard Koppett. (I’m not getting compensated to say that, it’s really that good!) Anyway, keep an eye out for it sometime this summer.

Look for an orange sign with black letters reading what we’ve all been thinking for the past month and a half:

WAKE UP METS!

It’s time to stop this slide once and for all…

Let’s Go Mets!

That’s right it’s that time of year again where the Mets make their lone trip to the Lonestar State to take on the Houston Astros. Houston isn’t my neck of the woods but I plan on rolling in to catch the last two games before the Mid-Summer Classic.

Houston, while a pretty crappy town, is actually a solid baseball town, a rarity in the Republic of Texas. Astro fans are loyal folks, though they’re anti-Met fervor as cooled since making a failed appearance in the World Series. Their once vicious and profane insults have turned to good natured ribbing, even toward a fan in a home white Wagner jersey. If any readers plan on making the trip please drop me a line.

For those of you who are making a first time trip, here are some tips:

There is a great bar across the street where transplants have been known to gather after Met wins, the beers aren’t too expensive, and the feeling of having a blue and orange garbed majority has the aura of reaping the spoils of war.

You are in the Republic of Texas, they provide ample smoking areas on all decks, no nanny laws in Texas.

No one checks your signage, use this knowledge wisely and responsibly.

If you are attending the Saturday game and expect to be compensated with a trashcan, don’t hold your breath, especially if you wear Met colors. Last year, I was denied a gym bag and given the excuse that they had all been handed out, despite my arrival preceding batting practice (not like you really want anything that much marked Astros to begin with)

Stay away from the hotdogs, nine times out of ten; you get a frank that is too small on a stale bun. Rumor is Joey Chesnut threw up after two Astrodogs.

Stay away from the pizza; it’s not digestible, it’s DiGiorno. Go with Nachos, its hard to ‘eff that up. (And if you thought the concession service at Shea was bad wait till you deal with these folks.)

Beers cost more than at Shea believe it or not (last I checked) at anywhere between $7.25 and $7.75 depending on your brand selection. Lonestar Met tip: If you are from out of state, make sure and try a Shiner Bock.

Be aware that the seat rows in the third deck are misleadingly numbered, you’ll think, “Hey, it’s the upper deck, but row 13 won’t be too bad.” That is until you get there and climb more stairs than to the torch of the Statue of Liberty to find you have the second to last highest row, the views aren’t obstructed, just brace yourself. (Can people even go to the Statue of Liberty again yet?)

Yell what ever you want, most Houstonians expect you to be obnoxious, you have to counter the Beltran-aimed boos. Do be aware, Texas has a conceal and carry law, dont mock the guy with the large bulge near his shoulder too hard (remember what I said ya’ll, no nanny-laws.)

Do not eat at Whataburger, trust me!

Make sure you keep the tradition alive for postgame, Met wins; any and all people spotted in Mets gear necessitate a high five.

Be advised that anyone wearing either maroon or clothing from Texas A&M University is most certainly a complete idiot; don’t make the mistake of debating an Aggie. Ask around if you have to, but trust me.

The domed stadium is great, dress appropriately; it may shock your system after hiking in through the parking lot, in 98 degree weather in 120% humidity to enter a very comfortable 75 degrees.

Autographs don’t come easy; in all the games I’ve attended, the closest I’ve gotten to a Met was Rick Down who signed a whopping two autographs before running into the dugout.

There you have it, a little survival guide for any Met fan planning on attending this four game series with the Astros. If you will be in attendance, make sure to shoot me an email! Let’s go Mets.

Welcome to Texas, Yall!

Hello…Vargas

Perez and Vargas are both Lefties, instead of one working for the Post Office and one works for Fed Ex, one is a potential staff ace and the other flat out sucks.
I’m not going to bother with a game recap, no one wants to read it anyway…

Looking ahead in the schedule, the Mets move on from Colorado down to Houston for a four game set with the Houston Astros. I will be in attendance for the Saturday and Sunday Match-ups. I had a fleeting hope that the starters would be Tommy Glavine and, my favorite Mets pitcher Oliver Perez. Unfortunately this won’t be the case.

I ponyed up 100 bucks for two field level seats behind the Astros dugout for Sunday’s series conclusion and the thought I had all night was “I plunked down a C-note to watch this guy? Effing Great.”

None the less, I will be in attendance this upcoming weekend and will be posting on the game, as always armed with pro-Mets/Astro-baiting signage. Mrs. Lonestar will be sporting a “Jose, Jose, Jose” sign. Last year I brought a “Beltran for MVP” to the series finale which drew much scorn from Houstonians, but it was the same game Beltran hurt himself crashing into that stupid wall in center. I like to hack off people wearing ratty Roger Clemens jerseys and all, but I don’t want the bad Karma this year. More to come, but any sign suggestions will be appreciated and quickly pawned off as my own.

I am giving a “Jason Vargas Sucks” sign after tonight’s game serious consideration.

Durning Tuesday’s telecast the subject of Mets Villain came up. Roger Clemens became the obvious front runner with Pete Rose the clear early runner up. I would throw in Mike Scioscia, Chipper Jones, Derek Jeter and Ryne Sandberg (I don’t think Kenny Rogers is eligible.

With the Mets-Rockies game fairly unremarkable, I turn to the world of cinema for some new release goodness.

1408- Lonestar Mets puts a heavy watch recommendation on John Cusack’s newest horror suspense film. I have always been a John Cusack fan, despite several bombs including America’s Sweethearts and Pushing Tin. I really wish John would make another film in the spirit of the underrated Better Off Dead, which was a genius film that stands up today. Nonetheless if you, like me are a Cusack fan, 1408 delivers a much needed Cusack driven vehicle. Without giving away too much, John plays a fiction writer turned hotel critic specializing in haunted hotels after a later revealed family tragedy, who learns of a “haunted” hotel room at the New York hotel, The Dolphin. Samuel L. Jackson plays the supporting role of Hotel Manager. Based on a short story by the great Stephen King, our hero checks into room 1408, things take a turn for the worse. This film isn’t your typical, worn out scary movie with an overused plot. It is fresh, suspenseful, and intelligent and will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you are planning on a Fourth of July trip to the Movies, put 1408 on the top of your must see list.

Live Free or Die Hard- this fourth installment of the John McLane series is an entertaining film, but like the two before it, falls short of the original classic. LFODH is worth a rent, but don’t stand in line at the movies for this one.

Die Hard (1988) After watching the forgettable Live Free or Die Hard, I immediately popped my special edition copy of Die Hard into the player. The greatest action film of all time still stands the test of time: the greatest action hero ever in the greatest situation known to cinema with an outstanding chief villain. Die Hard makes any red blooded American believe that they too could defeat a high rise building full of bad guys with no shoes and a 9 mm berretta. Some nineteen years, no action film has come close to matching the thrill ride of Bruce Willis’ defining action role of the medium, and it even doubles as a Christmas movie.