“I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along you define the moment or the moment defines you.”

To paraphrase Cheech Martin, 2007 was a defining season alright, and the definition was Shit.

Well here we are, left under whelmed, disgusted and questions with answers we don’t want to hear the answers to. What happened between strike three of the 2006 NCLS and April first in Saint Louis that made what seemed so right go so…not wrong, just un-right?

I don’t have those answers to give. I wish I did. This is a strange feeling, at the end of a soft-fought season. I have learned how to deal with the feelings of October 20 1999. Back then I was heartbroken and proud at the same time. Feeling proud to have been steadfast in believing a team that was 2 games out with three to play really had not only a chance to force a one game playoff, but win the whole damn thing.

Now? Now I find myself searching for what to feel or positive things to take away from 2007 and the only thought that keeps coming to mind is, “the 2007 Mets wasted my time.” Not that I am complaining mind you. I more than willingly volunteered to spend three hours or so on 162 days involving myself in the season of the New York Mets. What did it get me except heartache? What do I have to show for it? Runner up to a team that came on late and took advantage of a clumsy giant. I guess this year’s slogan should have been “your season already came last year.”

I think back to the first time the Mets broke my heart; 1988, the second time, 1999, and the pain from last season’s game 7. 1988 I was eleven so really that doesn’t really count here except the pain was severe. In 1999 and last year I kept wishing for one more inning, one more at bat, put Beltran up there again with the bases loaded and I know things would be different. This year, the irrational part of my brain wishes we played a 159 game season. Maybe that defines this years Mets, a team waiting for a coronation rather than hungry to win a division.

I think there is enough blame to go around on every player’s part. The question we’ve all been asking ourselves, whether we admitted it to ourselves, was what happened between now and then to change the team. Were Cliff Floyd and Steve Trachsel really the lynch pin that drove the team in 06? Maybe they were, though I don’t think that explains away the season. I think Willie’s attitude should have been different. I will stipulate that if Willie would have panicked, the New York media would have smelled the blood in the water, thus magnifying every little error. I think Willie should have spent more time trying to convince this team they aren’t as good as they think instead of issuing cocky statements about always being a winner and not stipulating the Mets might not win their division. I think every fan would like to know, “how sweet is the champaign now, Will?”

I know this will be a tough few weeks for all Mets fans whether we want to admit it or not. I don’t know if I will even watch playoff baseball this year. Every time I think about it, I feel sick to my stomach. I hope this year’s Mets feel worse.

But I doubt it…