If you lived in any city other than Dallas Fort Worth Area or the Charlotte area and don’t have the NFL Network consider yourself lucky you were spared watching the farce of a game between the Dallas Cowboys and Carolina Panthers. If you read the paper this morning you would note that the score reflected a Dallas victory against the 6-8 Panthers. What the box score doesn’t tell you is that the mighty Cowboys needed the referees to go temporarily blind on two key passing attempts while the Dallas secondary mugged Carolina receivers. Then for the zebras to suddenly develop hypersensitive vision ruling a key third down conversion as a dropped pass after holding a 15 minute summit meeting on the field to determine how exactly they would give Dallas the victory.

I was reminiscent on another NFL Network game handed to Dallas at home against Green Bay in which mighty Dallas also needed officiating help to beat the Packers.

One of the many displeasures I endure due to my residency in Arlington Texas is exposure to the Dallas Cowboy Media and Fans. I use the term media loosely, more like fans with a microphone or computer would be more apt. If you thought the Yankee homer writers are bad, pick up the Dallas Morning News

If Dallas somehow wins the Superbowl this year I plan to sit back and grin as they celebrate their sham of a victory. Heck, I might even take the day off to attend the victory parade. I’m not a fan but like most residents of DFW I like to show my Cowboy sprit by setting fire to local businesses and overturning police vehicles.

Before the first regular season home game I plan to get into my truck around 4:00 in the morning. Drive down to Texas Stadium with a can of paint and scale the outside of the eyesore stadium.

Once on top I will repel down through the ridiculous hole in the roof, over to the championship banner where I will paint a vertical line, then paint a horizontal line across it followed by two diagonal lines bisecting previous two lines. It should look something like this:

Of course any Dallas Cowboy fan with any shame has already placed an asterisk next to this team’s record. Shame on you Dallas, you’re 11 and 4. Live with that shame. You deserve everything you get.