The Giants are in the Super Bowl?

Even more of a shock is the line hovering around two touchdowns, which may be attributed to their last Meeting in Giants Stadium. I wouldn’t put too much weight on that game. If you want to take anything from that game, it should be that Down-Syndrome face has zero clock management skills letting 40 seconds run off the clock because he couldn’t get a play off in the two minute offense.

DISCLAIMER: Let me be honest and state my allegiance right off the bat, lest I be called a Patriot/Packer/Cowboy/any-other-team-worth-a-damn-fan. I am a life long NY Giants fan who has put my fandom on pending the ouster of the lesser Manning and Tom Coughlin’s agitated dog routine from the Meadowlands. Now that they are both going to the Superbowl it appears there abdication of big blue will be delayed for at least four years, maybe more. For various reasons, I dislike both of those people. To this day I maintain that Jim Fassel and Kerry Collins are much better than Coughlin and Eli.
In terms of general viewing, a Pats-Cowboys or Pats-Packers would have been a much better game. Here is a list of things that we can appreciate from a Giants-Patriots Superbowl:

After two quarters of Eli Manning close-up shots, come halftime Tom Petty will look like an attractive man. And really won’t it be a nice change of pace to watch Petty perform and think “this is the ugliest man around, oh wait, I forgot about that number 10 guy.”

Whom Jessica Simpson is banging is of no consequence to the outcome of the game, nor is Joe Simpson remotely involved (though if you think about it, Archie Manning is kind of the Joe Simpson of football.)

No Cheese hats. Sorry but Packer fans are a unique mix between annoying and fanatical with a touch of stupid; kind of like Gerald McRaney, except in a bad way.

Wes Welker is a magnificent to watch, period. Since he was a freshman at Texas Tech, Wes has been tremendous. The guy can do anything; kick field goals, catch touchdown passes, return punts, cure cancer, end world hunger, etc. If all the other Patriots were to all get food poisoning and Wes had to take on the Giants single handedly, I say:
Giants 13
Welker 24

100% chance of classic footage of the Parcells era Giants circa 1986-1991. Pepper, LT, Phil, Bavaro, Reasons, Baker, Everson Walls, Hostetler, Harry, Leonard Marshal, maybe a little David Meggett for good measure, will be aired during the broadcast. I don’t care who you root for, that was one of the greatest teams of all time. Maybe even the chance to see big Bill footage before he bleached his hair, grew a fupa, went insane and sold his soul to the devil Jerry Jones.

Dallas is in no way involved.

Tiki Barber’s (and don’t get me wrong, I love Tiki) sour grapes shot at his former coach and former team. I knew that publicity stunt to jumpstart his broadcasting career would come back to bite him in the ass. Plus, he has a twin brother and twins are creepy- unless they are hot chicks. Then twins are a reason for public masturbation.

Here are some reasons to hate a Giants-Patriots match up:

The over under on Manning family commercials is five. Bet the over.

If you think it will take the networks longer than a week to start hyping fake animosity between the Giants and Patriots based on the Yankee-Redsox rivalry. Because we all know, THAT is the single greatest facet sports could ever hope to offer, or hasn’t FOX/ESPN told you that yet?

Booth shots of Archie Manning.

Carlos Mencia

I am hoping for a Superbowl V type result meaning the Giants win and Wes Welkeris the MVP.

Lonestar Mets bold unfortunate predication: 49-10 Patriots.