With all apologies to Fire Joe Morgan (who does this much better and funnier), I couldn’t, in good conscience let this pass with out it’s due mockery…

Well here we are on a Monday and who else to judge the state of sporting world with anecdotal evidence and poorly thought out pronouncements. This one isn’t the worst thing in the world like the last time Pete explored Mets related issues. (Note: The article was removed from the website shortly after I posted it on this site. All other columns are available dating back to January) I probably could have let this go except for the fact it’s completely arbitrary, lacks any direction and I hate people that refer to themselves as “we.” Enjoy:

Monday Morning Quarterback
SPORTS LEAGUES, PLEASE GIVE THESE GUYS A BREAK

The too-long seasons mean more injury problems and a diluted product.
With everything that is going on in professional and college sports, we’re not going to predict the winner of the NCAA basketball final, or whether Tiger will win the Masters, or even if the gods are conspiring against the Rangers because major roadwork on I-30 coincided with the start of baseball season.

Good, because the last thing I wanted to read in the NEWSPAPER was in-depth analysis of both teams in the championship’s strengths and weaknesses as it relates to a head to head match up. Analysis of facts is not why anyone reads this stupid column. Also, how would he “predict” if the gods are conspiring against the Rangers because roadwork on I-30 coincided with the start of the season? I predict that Mookie Wilson hit the ball that went through Buckner’s legs allowing Ray Knight to score the winning run…22 years after it happened.

No, we have assessed this embarrassment of riches and are offering a radical suggestion to sports leagues- call a time out.
We don’t mean during the actual season.

Good because that would be ridiculous.

We understand the business of professional sports dictates that no one is going to shorten the regular season or playoffs, not with all those multi-million dollar salaries to pay. So fans will continue to enjoy a full time calendar of events in September and again in April, when baseball, basketball (college and pro), hockey, golf and auto racing are all in high gear.

I love how Pete takes a resentful tone towards the business of the sports world and then recognizes both college and pro basketball as legitimate enterprises, however college baseball, a non-revenue sport, is not included in Pete’s list of worthwhile April sports. At the Fort Worth Star Telegram, hypocrisy reigns supreme.

But if you’ve taken the time to look at the injury reports, you have to wonder what price is being paid by the athletes and teams and whether fans are getting their money’s worth.
There is an allstar team of pitchers who have recently returned from injury this spring or are on the disabled list – Josh Beckett, Pedro Martinez, John Lackey, Brandon McCarthy, Chris Carpenter, B.J. Ryan, Mike Hampton, Chad Cordero, Mark Moulder, Andy Pettitte, John Smoltz – we could go on.

Yep, a bunch of pitchers, most of them at the end of their careers and histories of injuries. Before I read this, I couldn’t imagine Mike Hampton on the disabled list, what a concept!

Among position players, Eric Chavez, Scott Rolen and Moises Alou would look good in the middle of a lineup.

Chavez is recovering from back surgery, Rolen broke a finger during a spring training drill, and Alou had to have surgery to repair a hernia. I just thought someone might wonder what their injuries were…since this is an article about why they got injured; Pete did not.

NBA players such as Yao Ming, Dwyane Wade, Stephon Marbury, Eddy Curry and Shawn marion have had their seasons cut short, while Paul Gasol, Andrew Bynum, Shaquille O’Neal, Jerry Stackhouse and Dirk Nowitzki (who must have the best recuperative powers in sports) are among the higher profile players who have had to sit out.

Your Dallas Stars lost…

Ok, I wouldn’t make anyone read this. Lets go to the next paragraph after Pete cuts and pastes injury reports from NHL.com

Sure, we know the mantra of injuries are part of the game, but how many of them can be attributed to constant wear and tear and not a freak accident?

Pete is really good at two things; lists and asking questions he has no intention of even answering. I want to try, here goes:
Companies such as Ford, Chevy, Honda and BMW are all automakers. How many more car companies are there? How much do they cost?

Given the money invested in athletes, teams are more demanding than ever about what players do with their so called “down time” during the offseason. The NFL is just one minicamp after another, while baseball players are expected to stay in top condition, and also do some throwing and hitting, which is easier for many teams in sunbelt cities. Many Latin players take part in winter ball.

Many writers took an English class after middle school and are expected to craft thoughts together to form valid points and logical opinions. Others work for the Fort Worth Star Telegram.
I assume that Pete is talking about Dominican Winter League Baseball, The Mexican Pacific League, the Puerto Rico PBL and the Venezuelan PBL etc. Winter ball is for young players that need to develop. Latin heritage is not required to participate. None of those injured pitchers played winter baseball, nor did Alou, Chavez or Rolen. Next

Demands are made on the NBA to provide stars for international competition, and not just in an Olympic year. Imagine the angst in the front office of the Houston Rockets, where team officials are wondering whether Yao will risk returning too soon from foot surgery to represent China in the Beijing Olympics.

For that matter, how many NBA players can resist the siren call of a pick-up game during the summer?

53 NBA Players can resist the siren call of a pick up game during the summer. Not 52. Not 54. Exactly 53 players.
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If you believe that athletes – like cars – have only so many miles on them no matter how much regular maintenance they receive, the perhaps we should encourage them to give it a rest during the offseason. We’re not advocating that they become couch potatoes with a severe case of the muchies, but what’s the bid deal if they report to camp several pounds over their playing weight and easily winded?

Is this a joke? Is he actually asking why professional athletes shouldn’t maintain good physical health?

We know this is Heresy. Fitness experts will say that athletes are at a greater risk for injury if they are out of shape. But that wouldn’t be true if team trainers and coaches allowed players time to gradually build up their strength and stamina.

I hope Pete thinks heresy means ridiculous.
(Editor’s Note: Pete would have asked a fitness expert to go on the record to provide credible testimony as to positive and negative aspects of a player falling out of shape and then the aspects involved with that said player working to get back in shape, but he doesn’t know how a phone works. Also, he made up the occupation of “Fitness expert”)

Would a pitcher, for example, have a better chance of avoiding rotator cuff or Tommy John surgery- or at least delay it – if he didn’t pick up a baseball until January at the earliest?

Do you think Bill Belichick can survive with one less minicamp and more time to kick back with Bon Jovi CDs?

Didn’t he just advocate players reporting to their respective camps out of shape and then be given more time to get into shape?

It’s just getting harder to get enthused about the start of the season – any season- when the fans aren’t the only spectators.
Pete Alfano, 817-390-7985 palfano@star-telegram.com

It’s just getting harder to get enthused about reading a column – any column- when the author is also a spectator.

As per usual when reading a Pete Alfano op-ed piece, I’m never quite sure if he is making a point or if he is trying to express that there is no solution or that he wrote this in 2 minutes. Feel free to call his office or shoot him an email. He should change it to either, “More Questions than Answers” or “What’s your point, Pete?”