Your Rail Out of Town is Ready, Sir

Destination: Out of town

Is a bag of waterlogged baseballs too much to ask for?


NEW YORK — With holes in their rotation and their bullpen not yet repaired, the Mets have another pitching issue to address, one that might add a starter at the cost of one of their incumbent relievers. Aaron Heilman wants out of the ‘pen and into the rotation, or, if that can’t be arranged, out of the Mets

Well one of those things is definitely going to happen. The other, not so much. Maybe Aaron is hoping that some other team hasn’t watched him pitch in the past two seasons…or doesn’t have access to video…or the internet…or doesn’t read any newspapers…or talk to people.

Anyway, this idiot had something to say:

“The object the entire time has never been to get out of New York,” agent Mark Rodgers was quoted as having said. “The object is to get out of the bullpen.”

Rogers continued. “Well that and the other object was to set a new example of horrid relief pitching in New York, the likes of which eclipses Doug Sisk and I think he’s done that without a shadow of a doubt.”

Ok, he really didn’t say that, but what a pair on this guy. Unless of course, Aaron is so unhappy in Queens he wants a trade at any cost. If you remember (I try to block most Heilman related memories) this isn’t the first time him and his douchy agent have tried this. Then of course, there was Aaron’s public unhappiness with his lack of a parking spot, after his last appearece cost the team a trip to the World Series.

Honestly, I could live the rest of my life and never see Heilman in a Mets uniform and I’m sure I have a good number of companions on that opinion. You know what, scrap that, I am so tired of watching Aaron blow leads late in games, it almost made me hate baseball last season so I’m going to go ahead and write little sarcastic digs after random paragraphs, ok? Great:

Now, though, after a season in which he fell into disfavor and then into disuse, Heilman wants to be used in a role he considers better suited for his skills, and for the first time, he has reinforced his request with an expressed willingness to leave the organization that developed him if his request isn’t accommodated.

Because why wouldn’t it make sense to plan you rotation around a man you depend on to get to the sixth inning when he couldn’t string together three outs without giving up a home run and/or walking the ballpark.

Because he was the Mets’ primary “crossover” pitcher — a pitcher used against right-handed and left-handed hitters — his ineffectiveness affected the bullpen more than the shortfall of any other reliever.

And by crossover, it means he’s equally ineffective against right and left-handed batters.

I’m tired of this already. I would like to thank Aaron for lowering his trade value even lower (if that’s even possible.) Incidentally, the story currently up, written by Marty Noble originally linked to a story by Jim Mallory and was much more critical of Heilman.

Anyway, the point of all of this is that any and all things from Notre Dame suck sweaty balls …except Mark Bavaro.

NOTE: the alternate title I had in mind was Aaron Heilman and the horse he rode in on.

Posted under Angry Rant, FJM ripoff, Humorous, Unsubstantiated Rumors

Offseason Goodness

David Wright hosted his annual gala for the “Do the Wright Thing” foundation; a Spike Lee Joint. Anyway, I’m sure it’s all for a good cause (farmers with AIDS I think) but I really don’t want to hear about it. Why you ask? Because I like to picture David in a field somewhere, hitting balls off a tee and practicing throwing from behind third into a bucket on firstbase, not douching it up with last years Survivor runner up.

Anyway, here’s a picture of David with a semi-hot piece of ass and some douche from America’s got talent wearing a vest, and an untucked shirt.

Also, check out the super cool Swatch watch David won at Chuckie Cheese playing skeeball earlier that day.

Hot Stove Season

As of Midnight on Friday, the exclusivity period ends on free agents. I’m not certain who I’m sold on this year, I do know who I don’t want. A few thoughts:

Manny Ramirez
I really hope Manny gets signed somewhere right away so we get spared the “Manny to the Mets” rumors we’ve read for the past three seasons. Omar would do a disservice to the Mets chasing Manny this year rather than solidifying rebuilding the bullpen and finding a power bat to anchor the lineup. (Note: Manny is not that bat)

Trevor Hoffman
I saw a note on Trevor Hoffman no longer dealing with the Padres front office. Hoffman’s probably a Hall of Famer, but at his age the Mets should definitely pass. Signing Hoffman means the Mets have learned nothing from the last two seasons.

Looks like K-Rod isn’t going to be an Angel next season, which sucks for us for a number of reasons
-I’ve cooled on the guy, with his delivery; he’s half a season away from a rotator cuff injury. For the money he wants, I don’t want to risk it. Also, saves are a stupid and overrated stat. Sign Fuentes and be done with it.
-K-Rod leaving Anahiem means they’ll too likely target Fuentes.

C.C. Sabathia
The “jewel of the free agent market” this year will surely be considered C.C. Sabathia. He is only 28 and accomplished front line starter, I’ve cooled. His weight bothers me. Take a look at this line:
21-8 3.48 ERA 2CG 222.2 IP 157 SO
Oh, that’s Bartolo Colon’s 2005 Cy Young season. Granted, Sabathia is a better pitcher but I see C.C. (get it?) as another Bartolo Colon. The extra weight makes him vulnerable for arm, back and shoulder problems. For the money he wants, the Mets could do better spending it elsewhere. Pass

I have a feeling we’re in for a pretty boring off-season.

Posted under Unsubstantiated Rumors