The Gym at 9pm huh? I guess when a drug dealer recognizes you, one way to control the story is to claim they were carjackers:

DALLAS –
A former felon University of Miami and Dallas Cowboy star said he almost purchased drugs was nearly carjacked Monday night, until the would-be drug dealers robbers recognized him.

Michael Irvin said he was driving to buy crack the gym when robbers pulled alongside him and flashed a vial gun at him as he drove in Dallas at about 9 p.m.

“Absolutely I was afraid of getting caught again,” he said. “I was very afraid so I came up with this story to discredit the dealers.”

Irvin, who was driving a new, white Range Rover, said a truck followed him to a stoplight.

“I was looking in my rearview for my usual dealer, and I saw this black truck flying up behind me,” he said.

The passenger rolled down his window and offered a vial to pointed a gun at him.
Irvin said his work on the field may have endangered saved his already badly damaged reputation life because the would-be drug dealers carjacker recognized him.

“He put it away, because he recognized me. He said, ‘Hey, Mike Irvin, what’s up? Mike Irving, man, we are big Cowboy fans,’” Irvin said.

Irvin, who was known as “The Playmaker,” said he knew his next lie play might be his most important one yet.

He followed the man’s lead and started talking about the Cowboys in hopes to buy time and construct this highly implausible story.
“And I was like, ‘Yeah man, you know, I miss playing, and boy, I’m sorry we couldn’t win a Super Bowl this year,’ because I’m just trying to get his mind on something else so he doesn’t tell people I tried to buy drugs pull that gun back up again,” Irvin said.

He said his drug trafficking pistol-packing fans sped off after several minutes.

“I was like, ‘Wow, you were a coward there, Michael,’” he said injecting some false humility in hopes of adding credibility to this questionable tale. “Even when he pulled off, I still did not get that license plate and not because I made it up or anything but because this really happened.”

Irvin said he is thanking God for his life and his legacy with the Dallas Cowboys and hoping fans are gullible to buy this story.

“‘I’m a huge Cowboy fan’ it never sounded so sweet before like it did last night, even coming from him,” he said.

Irvin, a husband and father of four, said he went home and hugged his wife and children, saying a high it never felt so good.

Police said they do not have any suspects other than Irvin in the case.

NOTE: The Deletions were how the story should have been written.

Posted under Humorous, Non-Baseball, Unsubstantiated Rumors