Superbowl Quick Hits

The Superbowl has been over for 24 hours now and I am still in a state of shock. I can’t believe the Giants are World Champs. I was really happy to see Strahan finally get a ring. I still can’t believe Eli and Coughlin brought big blue it’s first title since the Parcells era.

A few quick hits:

What was Belichick thinking when he went for it on 4 and 13? He takes a shot at the endzone instead of trying to pickup the first down? There is a fine line between taking a shot and throwing away a down. That’s just cocky football.

David Tyree’s catch will go down in New York sports lore with Endy Chavez in the NLDS. I still can’t believe that really happened.

It’s about time somebody knocked Boston fans off their cloud. I don’t care how long you suffered with the Redsox. You had an NBA Dynasty, a NFL Dynasty and what just might be a MLB dynasty in the making. Suck it.

Janet Jackson was the best thing to ever happen to halftime. Recall if you will, pre-wardrobe malfunction halftime shows. They run every flash in the pan, one-hit wonder or American Idol contestant onto the stage. I don’t need to see William Hung ever again. Anyone remember the Halftime Show from a 49ers-Bangles Superbowl where Coke put 3-D glasses in 12 packs and had some kind of magician on stage. That was god-awful. The whole thing was terrible. Petty’s show was the second best of all time behind McCartney.

Not to hammer the Cowboys too much (OK, I love to hammer the Cowboys) why did Tony Romo put himself in a commercial (The Justin Timberlake ad). When the entire state of Texas is irritated that you decided vacationing with Daisy Duke during the season was a good idea from a football standpoint or a public relations aspect, you should lie low for a while, buddy. Lose next year and Texans will lose patience.

Why was Wes Welker not in consideration for MVP? I realize Superbowl V was probably the last time a losing player will be selected as MVP, but they could have at least considered him. He wasn’t even listed as a choice on the poll, what if the Giants would have lost. Thurman Thomas feels me. Texas Tech gets screwed again.
Speaking of MVP, Eli Manning? He drove the team downfield and is kind of a default selection. Sure he played well and made the plays when he had to, but a team that holds the Patriots to two touchdowns and harassed Brady all game should have an MVP from the defensive side of the ball.

Did anyone watch House? I was getting congrats calls after the game and I never watch that show but why is House handling patients in Antarctica? Come to think of it, how do all these medical freaks find Hugh Laurie. I realize the show is set in Philly so 50% of the population has some kind of genetic defect, but come on. I might watch that show if they didn’t promo the shit out of it EVERYTIME a game is on Fox, stop Joe Buck from whipping my ass with House promos between every down or pitch.

Someone needs to give Steve Spagnola a huge contract extension and pay him like a head coach. I have never seen Brady get hassled like that.

This game is a bigger upset than the Jets beating the Colts in Superbowl III hands down. The only thing it lacked was a pregame guarantee ala Broadway Joe. Plaxico was close, but that wasn’t a guarantee.

Was Superbowl XLII better than Superbowl XXV? I can’t be sure so close to the event but I would have to say no. Ask me again after I watch the NFL Films highlight show a few thousand times.

The Superbowl XLII Champion New York Giants. Wow. It has a nice ring to it. It’s not as nice as World Champion New York Mets by a long shot. For those of you that hate Tom Coughling (like me) we’re stuck with him for at least five more years
For actual Giants analysis check out NYGmen

Non-Superbowl Quick Hits

Seriously, if I hear another reporter vocally felate the Yankees and Brian Cashman about how commendable they are for not getting Santana, I am going to throw up. Give me a break. Yeah, Phil Hughes might turn out better than Santana. Ok, and Roger Clemens might not have done steroids. Sure, whatever. Yankee fans and press should eat a bullet. Wait until the Yankees struggle and try and pry C.C. Sabathia free from the Indians. Hughes, Chaimberlain, Melky, Ian Kennedy and ten other prospects will be on a bus to Cleveland along with a bag of cash.

If you ever write a throw away joke on your website involving Gerald McGraney you WILL get hate email. Some lady put a curse on me and every sports team I like. If you believe in the curse of Major Dad, bet all you have on the Patriots to win the Superbowl.

No Cheese hats. Sorry but Packer fans are a unique mix between annoying and fanatical with a touch of stupid; kind of like Gerald McRaney, except in a bad way.

I really thought that was a harmless (and stupid) throw away joke involving a B rate celebrity people barely remember. I wasn’t aware he had factions of zealous followers. Apparently I was mistaken:

What is your problem with GERALD MCRANEY??
Here’s hoping your precious team doesn’t win!!
Or, you could take what you said about GM back and I will take away the curse.

Wow, sorry it was just a joke. I would never intentionally offend the Apostle Gerald McRaney or any of his disciples so sayeth Johnston Green, so say we all.

I can’t figure out if she cursed the Giants since that is my team or the Patriots I predicted they win in a landslide. Adjust your wagers accordingly.

The Giants are in the Super Bowl?

Even more of a shock is the line hovering around two touchdowns, which may be attributed to their last Meeting in Giants Stadium. I wouldn’t put too much weight on that game. If you want to take anything from that game, it should be that Down-Syndrome face has zero clock management skills letting 40 seconds run off the clock because he couldn’t get a play off in the two minute offense.

DISCLAIMER: Let me be honest and state my allegiance right off the bat, lest I be called a Patriot/Packer/Cowboy/any-other-team-worth-a-damn-fan. I am a life long NY Giants fan who has put my fandom on pending the ouster of the lesser Manning and Tom Coughlin’s agitated dog routine from the Meadowlands. Now that they are both going to the Superbowl it appears there abdication of big blue will be delayed for at least four years, maybe more. For various reasons, I dislike both of those people. To this day I maintain that Jim Fassel and Kerry Collins are much better than Coughlin and Eli.
In terms of general viewing, a Pats-Cowboys or Pats-Packers would have been a much better game. Here is a list of things that we can appreciate from a Giants-Patriots Superbowl:

After two quarters of Eli Manning close-up shots, come halftime Tom Petty will look like an attractive man. And really won’t it be a nice change of pace to watch Petty perform and think “this is the ugliest man around, oh wait, I forgot about that number 10 guy.”

Whom Jessica Simpson is banging is of no consequence to the outcome of the game, nor is Joe Simpson remotely involved (though if you think about it, Archie Manning is kind of the Joe Simpson of football.)

No Cheese hats. Sorry but Packer fans are a unique mix between annoying and fanatical with a touch of stupid; kind of like Gerald McRaney, except in a bad way.

Wes Welker is a magnificent to watch, period. Since he was a freshman at Texas Tech, Wes has been tremendous. The guy can do anything; kick field goals, catch touchdown passes, return punts, cure cancer, end world hunger, etc. If all the other Patriots were to all get food poisoning and Wes had to take on the Giants single handedly, I say:
Giants 13
Welker 24

100% chance of classic footage of the Parcells era Giants circa 1986-1991. Pepper, LT, Phil, Bavaro, Reasons, Baker, Everson Walls, Hostetler, Harry, Leonard Marshal, maybe a little David Meggett for good measure, will be aired during the broadcast. I don’t care who you root for, that was one of the greatest teams of all time. Maybe even the chance to see big Bill footage before he bleached his hair, grew a fupa, went insane and sold his soul to the devil Jerry Jones.

Dallas is in no way involved.

Tiki Barber’s (and don’t get me wrong, I love Tiki) sour grapes shot at his former coach and former team. I knew that publicity stunt to jumpstart his broadcasting career would come back to bite him in the ass. Plus, he has a twin brother and twins are creepy- unless they are hot chicks. Then twins are a reason for public masturbation.

Here are some reasons to hate a Giants-Patriots match up:

The over under on Manning family commercials is five. Bet the over.

If you think it will take the networks longer than a week to start hyping fake animosity between the Giants and Patriots based on the Yankee-Redsox rivalry. Because we all know, THAT is the single greatest facet sports could ever hope to offer, or hasn’t FOX/ESPN told you that yet?

Booth shots of Archie Manning.

Carlos Mencia

I am hoping for a Superbowl V type result meaning the Giants win and Wes Welkeris the MVP.

Lonestar Mets bold unfortunate predication: 49-10 Patriots.