Foreword by Lonestar Mets: I sat down to write about this and instead of working myself up into a rage, I thought I would go for that goofy, weird ass, bordering on crazy sense of humor I’m known for on this site. Maybe it comes off as stupid, whatever. Enjoy:

“Closer in the making” -Billy Wagner on Aaron Heilman, Spring Training 2008

Even with Wagner’s grandstanding, empty proclamation, it’s obvious to even the most casual observer that Heilman is not a closer of the past, present or future. “He maybe a closer in another dimension” said the weird guy wearing a Lord of the Rings t-shirt, “but that’s just ridiculous.”

Only hours after being named interim closer by default and Billy Wagner’s endorsement as a closer in the making, Aaron Heilman took the mound at Shea Stadium with a 6-2 lead and the task of collecting the last three outs. Only moments later, Heilman had soiled walked the leadoff hitter, allowed a bloop hit, allowed a homerun to a punch and Judy hitter and soiled himself before dejectedly slinking into the dugout.

Coming as a shock to absolutely no one, Heilman was completely ineffective as the ninth inning pitcher, unsuccessfully deceiving hitters or locating his change up, or as it’s been know around the league, “the homerun ball.”

Manuel had foolishly selected Heilman as his interim closer, referring to the veteran right-hander as “a cross-over pitcher” in that he gives up homeruns against weak right-handed and left-handed hitters alike.

Manuel also made nonsensical assertions that Heilman’s changeup could be effective as an out pitch in late game, pressure situations.

In the aftermath of the Mets’ 6-5 victory against the Padres on Tuesday night, the Jerry Manuel opened a bottle of water and asked out loud if it could be changed to wine. It was a stunningly frightening indication that the Mets manager had become so delusional he actually believed he was Jesus.

Before the homestand began, Manuel had used the phrase “closer by committee” and soon after, he acknowledged Heilman would do most of the closing, or in other words, be the committee chairman.

Chairman Heilman accepted the challenge and immediately disbanded the committee and filed for chapter 11, but not before ciphering off enough company assets into accounts in the Cayman Islands that investors lost their lifesavings.

It’s been a long, strange fall from grace for Heilman. After being the Mets first draft pick in 2001, Heilman was actually held in high regard by Mets management. Unbelievably Heilman made an impressive start, pitching a complete game one hitter. But, it was all downhill from there.

After surrendering a homerun in the 2006 NLCS to Yadier Molina, bitching about a parking spot in spring training, countless multiple run innings and gutless performances, Heilman arrived at Shea Wednesday afternoon to find the personal effects of his locker laying in the gutter on Roosevelt Avenue and banned for life from Shea Stadium.

As Heilman ran down Roosevelt Avenue, chased by angry Mets fans hurling bags of their own urine, it served as a perfect microcosm of his career with the Mets.

Posted under Humorous, Post Game, Uncategorized

On the verge of falling out of the NL East race, the Mets have called up prospects Nick Evans, Eddie Kunz and Dan Murphy up to the big club and are expected to see significant playing time with starting pitcher Jon Niese expected to follow later this week in place of John Maine. The young Mets are reunited with Carlos Muniz who sucks was formerly a minor league teammate. Freddy Martinez could make an appearance if he can figure out how to get through a batting practice without a leg injury.

The roster moves were likely born out of necessity instead of a shift in team philosophy. With Ryan Church’s return uncertain, Moises Alou out for the season, John Maine and Billy Wagner both struggling with injury and no help to be found at the deadline, what else are they going to do? Bring up the young kids, why not?

Although the Mets offense has been failing lately, they should be able to compensate for Church’s extended absence. The most pressing concern is the state of the bullpen which will require a intense off-season overhaul. None of the current arms are capable of closing in Wagner’s place, and the odds of a 23 year old rookie closing in a pennant race aren’t in the Mets’ favor.

But take heart, the Mets don’t figure to be in the pennant race much longer. Of course a quick and early end to the season might prove refreshing than another August/September swoon and slow death of a team that is less than the sum of its parts.

So what the hell, lets all sit back and watch these four prospects who, depending on who you believe are either highly talented or overvalued. The July surge was nice, but likely an anomaly in another high expectation, also-ran Mets season plagued once again by a stagnant offense and poor bullpen performance.

2009 isn’t that far away.

Posted under Uncategorized

You tell me, who has a cooler mascot.

Greetings from Houston! It’s freaking hot here. Game one didn’t go as well as a Mets fan could hope. Homeruns did us in as Heilman couldn’t hold a 3-3 tie. That and having the bases loaded with no outs and not plating a single run, which seems like a lingering problem. Sooner or later, this team is going to start hitting with RISP by sheer law of averages.

I still hate that stupid Astros train. I was surrounded by the most uneducated ignorant baseball fans on the planet, who among other things:

-Suggested that the Mets were pitching around Brandon Backe.

-Were incensed that the Astros wouldn’t bunt over a leadoff runner with no outs in a tie game with the number five hitter at the plate.

-Couldn’t understand why a hitter would take on a 3-0 count.

-After every pitch yelled “you knew that was coming!”

-The Astros fans trash talk has fallen off quite a bit. The most common “jeer” all night was a thumbs down and “boo Mets.” I’m not big on trash talk, but I would hope I could come up with something a little better than that. Still I guess it’s better than the profanity laced threats of violence that were prevalent here after 1986.

On a separate note, Mrs. Lonestar Mets hatred for all things Astros is starting to scare me.

I did have the pleasure of meeting a fellow blogger as well as TBF. Getting ready to head to Minute Maid right now to see the Great Santana. I’ve never seen the Mets lose more than one game in Houston and I don’t plan on starting now.

I am going to see the Major League debut of Dan Murphy. The last MLB debut of a Met i saw Jose Reyes’ at the Ball Park in Arlington. Let’s hope Murphy has the same success.

The heat index is at 110 today. Thank God the Astros put a roof on Minute Maid Park.

As far as cab service in Houston, every experience I’ve had has been a poor one. Cabs are not plentiful and are usually obtained by calling the cab company. Whether the cabbies we unfamiliar with the city or elongating the cab ride was unclear, the fare was always more than parking in downtown. If you fly in from out of the area or head to Houston on a road trip, a hotel within walking distance is the way to go.

Posted under Johan Santana, Uncategorized

Should be a fun series. If you’re headed down for the weekend, sound off in the comments or shoot me an email. For tips while in Houston make sure you check out Texas Road Trip

Check back over the weekend for updates from Houston, stories of drunken rampages, felony arrests and out of focus pictures.

Lets Go Mets!

Posted under Uncategorized

Thursday’s 4:00 pm trade deadline came and went without so much as a good Mets rumor. I’m not that uneasy that the Mets didn’t pick up a corner outfield; Church should be back at some point and some combo of Endy/Marlon/Tatis/Easley should be enough to hold down the other corner spot. What really concerns me is the pitching staff.

As I’ve written before, the starting rotation should be fine, and with a little bit of luck, Pedro keeps his sprains and pulls to a minimum. If you’ve been watching even just highlights of the Mets, you’d know this team desperately needs another arm. Secretly I was hoping for Houston Street , even if it meant sending a Kunz or Niese to Oakland , but that Billy Beene is a motherhumper when it comes to asking for every thing but the kitchen sink. The price tag on Ibanez was ridiculous, for what Seattle was reportedly asking for, they should have thrown in Ichiro. I was never that high on Fuentes, particularly because I would have like to have seen a right-handed set up man to pitch the eighth.

The lack of a trade is likely not Omar’s fault; this year’s sellers wanted an arm and leg. If he would have traded two of three of the few prospects the Mets have left, the Mets would be in a deeper hole next year. Not to mention trading away three future stars for a mediocre pitcher isn’t only unwise, it puts an unfair burden on the player coming back. See Victor Zambrano.

The Mets will need a corner outfielder and if Freddy Martinez lives up to half his hype, he is going to be special player, but then again, so was Lastings Milledge and Alex Ochoa. Lets hope he lives up to his ceiling. In the mean time, the Mets have to look elsewhere for help. The Mets should be ok without another outfielder, the most glaring need is for bullpen help. With the deadline come and gone, the Mets must look elsewhere for reinforcements:

The Waiver Wire

The Mets have to look to the trash heap waiver wire to get an arm. Reason would suggest that with pitching at such a shortage, any pitcher worth a darn would be signed by someone. Omar has shown a proficiency with pulling players off the scrap heap. Darren Oliver and Aaron Sele come to mind, not that either one of those players were stoppers or lights out set up men but both gave the Mets a long reliever capable of making a spot start. Of course Omar also brought in Mota so who knows.

The Minors

Jon Niese reportedly had a impressive triple-A debut. Over seven innings Niese gave up one run on three hits, striking out seven and walking two. That’s promising, but this guy probably isn’t major league ready and sure as shit not ready to jump into the rotation. Niese may be shoved into a start due to necessity or if by some reason if the Mets get a big lead over Philly and Florida . Same with Eddie Kunz; both should see late season call ups and figure to be prominent in the Mets staff in 2009 or 2010 but will likely not contribute in a meaningful role baring a heavy hit from the injury bug. I suspect the Mets did not make Bobby Parnell available this off-season to raise his value in November. Look for him to leave via trade over the off-season.

Staff up

The Mets might be able to ease the burden placed on the pen by carrying another pitcher. Why the big league club is carrying three catchers is beyond me. The Mets should send down Cancel and carry 13 pitchers. Even a mop-up/long relief man would take some strain off an already taxed bullpen. Aaron Heilman’s arm is going to fall off at this rate. The pen needs some breathers with only 5 off days from now until the rest of the season, the Mets have no more help from the schedule.

Analysis

The key to keeping this team from another September C word the bullpen has got to be unburdened. Manuel’s instance on starting pitchers going at least seven innings is a good start, but not enough. Offensive explosions and lopsided wins will reduce the need for pitchers to face one and two batters will decrease the work load. With no help on the way everyone has to pitch in and relieve the bullpen.

Posted under Uncategorized

If Mets management’s mantra is “we are comfortable with what we have” because they cant make a trade, that’s understandable. If they really believe that, they’re crazy. Forget Manny, he’d be great to have in the lineup, but I doubt the Mets can slug there way to a pennant.

Pitching is going to win the East. Our starting pitching is solid to adequate, depending on Pedro. The bullpen however, is fragile to critical. I would love Houston Street. I don’t know about the price tag Seattle is asking for and supposedly Fuentes is off the market.

If the Mets bullpen stays the same, look for another late August, mid-September melt down.

Just make a deal, Omar. You’ve got 25 minutes

Posted under Uncategorized, Unsubstantiated Rumors

It’s that time of year again, the Mets make there lone visit to the Lonestar State. I live in Arlington, (three minutes from the Ballpark in Arlington) and make the annual journey south on 45 every year to watch the Mets in person so I too have the experience of being an out of towner. However, since I am a resident of the great state of Texas, I can provide some tips on watching the Mets in Houston and if you plan on attending, shoot me an email.

Houston, while a pretty crappy berg, is actually a solid baseball town, a rarity in the Republic of Texas. Though they’re anti-Met fervor has cooled since making a failed appearance in the World Series; their once vicious and profane insults have turned to good natured ribbing, even toward a fan in clad in Mets gear.

This year, we have a three game weekend series in Houston. It’s too early for probable pitching matchups with Pedro’s status in question, but here are the facts.

*Note: all times are in Central Standard Time*

Game 1: 8/01 7:05 CST
Promotions: Berkman Bobblehead (first 10,000); Friday Night Fireworks
Batting practice starts at 3:50 Mets BP starts at 4:50

Game 2: 8/02 6:05 Insulated Travel Mug (first 10,000)
Batting practice starts at 4:40 Mets BP starts at 5:40

Game 3 8/03 1:05 Back-School Backpack First (10,000 kids under 15)
The gates open at 11:35, I’ve never seen either team take BP, and usually it’s the Astros on the field with their families playing catch with their kids. Do yourself a favor and sleep in.

Batting Practice:
As far as batting practice goes, I’ve only ever gotten one autograph (Joe Smith) so BP isn’t a must. I usually have pretty good seats. It is a kick to get close enough to see the Mets up close and personal. It’s not a must attend, but one BP is always a nice treat.

Promotional Giveaways:
Why you’d want a Lance Berkman bobblehead doll or an Astros travel mug is beyond me, but if you want one, wearing blue and orange won’t secure said items. I’ve shown up for most batting practices and am told they are out as a whole pile of whatever crap they’re giving away is sitting right next to them.

Tickets:
You should have your tickets already if you plan on attending. If you don’t, and don’t plan on going through one of the wonderful ticket brokers on my sidebar, you’ll be sitting in the upper deck behind the plate or on the first and third base side. Those are terrible seats, and I’ve sat in Shea’s upper tank. The views are obstructed and the row numbers are misleading. If you plan on making this series, cough up the extra dough so you aren’t sitting behind a pole or in the stratosphere.

Plan Ahead:
It may be too late for this year’s series, but next year plan ahead. Register as an Astro fan at the Astro’s website. They’ll send you annoying emails about Astro signings and promotional events but the payoff here is they’ll give you preseason ticket rights. I have either field level or club level seats for each game. Purchasing through these promotional sales for some reason gives you playoff rights. I’ve only bought tickets to the Mets series every year, but when the Astro’s were fighting the Cardinals for the NL Central in 2006, they sold, and then refunded me playoff tickets.

Lodging:
You can tackle this bad boy a number of ways. I’ve tried the Super 8/Holiday Inn route and cabbed it to the games, I’ve tried driving in and paying for parking and either way, you’re going to drop a chunk of change. I recommend the Magnolia (1100 Texas St). Rooms are around $120.00 a night and it’s in walking distance. It’s a very nice hotel with valet parking. The staffs decent, the rooms are large and hi-speed internet equipped. Either way, you’re going to spend the cash, you might as well walk a few blocks and stay in style.

Concession Stand Food:
This is a tricky proposition. The one thing the Texas Rangers do better than the Astros is stadium food, but that’s another story for another post in like 3 years when the Mets come back to Arlington. Minute Maid Park food is for the most part god-awful. Just to avoid confusion, Minute Maid Park went to the trouble of naming their concession stands.

Now if you are reading this and saying “But Dan, I can’t possible enjoy a game without waiting on line for an unacceptable amount of time to purchase overpriced mediocre food served by idiots who can’t make change like at Shea” then, good news for you; the Astros are happy to provide that service for you at no extra charge. If you really like diarrhea, swing by one of these places, you’ll feel at home.

Try to avoid:
Chicken Tenders- Sold in All Aboard Sec. 109- Stay away, it’s tough, over fried, and basically tasteless.
Hotdogs: Union Station- Usually cold frank served on a stale bun. If your pallet is used to Nathan’s Famous, there is no way you’ll enjoy these things.
Pizza- Conductors Hall- It’s not digestible, it’s DiGiorno.

The safe bet:
If you’re going to eat, stick with the BBQ beef sandwiches at the Maverick Smokehouse in sections 125, 409 and 427. Texans can’t eff up barbeque. The Nachos aren’t bad, but again, it’s hard to screw that up. Why the Astros don’t serve turkey legs is beyond me.

Beer:
Ah, beer. An essential must for a ball game. The beers are pricey ($7.25 to $7.75 last season), but what did you expect? Do yourself a favor, pony up an extra buck and grab a Shiner.

Smoking:
Those of you who know me, know this is a lightning rod of discussion. New York City may be the Baseball Capital of the World, but it’s also the biggest nanny city in the world. However, fear not, you are in the Republic of Texas. Smoking is allowed in designated areas on all decks. Most areas provide TV’s so if your smoke break runs a little long you won’t miss a pitch. Smoke’em if you’ve got em!

The Stadium:
If you can manage to score tickets anywhere other than the third deck, watching a game in Minute Maid is a real treat. Texas summers are very hot and Houston summers are very humid. Fortunately, someone in Houston thought ahead and designed Minute Maid with a retractable roof so you can enjoy games in 75 degree weather. I suppose they might play some games with the roof open, but I’ve never been to one. Minute Maid is a very pretty ballpark. Other than the dreaded third deck, there are some other obstructed views like on the first base side of club level. From there you can’t see deep centerfield, which doesn’t seem like a big deal until your centerfielder climbs the ridiculous hill out there and makes a game saving catch. Bottom line is that Minute Maid Park is a beautiful stadium, and the energy inside the place is well worth the visit.

After the Game:
I haven’t really branched out and explored the options in this field. There is one place I’ve gone to after every Mets victory. The Home Plate Bar and Grill. The prices are kind of high, the service is slow but the feeling of Mets fans packed in an Astro’s bar after vanquishing the opponent has a satisfying sense of conquest.
Home Plate Bar and Grill
1800 Texas Ave
Houston TX 77003
If you are a Houston native or resident and have a better place to dine or have a drink or five, please feel free to add it in the comments section.

Aggies:
There is a high population in the Houston area of a group of people whom refer to themselves as Aggies. You can often spot them wearing maroon and white or, at times, inappropriately dressed in overalls. They’ll have bad haircuts and an unhealthy fetish for collies. I can’t stress this enough, avoid these people. They have nothing useful to add to anything.

I swear to god, that is from something called “Yell Practice”

There you have it folks, everything you need to know about a possible trip to the home of the Houston Astros.

Posted under Uncategorized

Jose Reyes and Keith Hernandez had to be separated on the Mets’ charter plane Sunday night after a tense confrontation over Hernandez’s critical comments about the All-Star shortstop.

Wha, wha, what?

First off, I’m sure Bart Hubbuch is blowing this way out of proportion. I would guess Jose Bristled at something Keith said. I doubt how the shortstop feels about an announcer is relevant to team play, even if it is Keith.

Regardless, is Jose batshit crazy? I mean like Milton Bradley or Carl Everett crazy. Seriously, something is wrong with Jose. Every player goes through a funk, but this one’s spanned two seasons already. How is it possible to regress like this?

Send David to the Mid Summer Classic

Ok, I’ve said time and again I could care less about the All Star Game this year. The Mets aren’t really earning my support in the balloting. However, I have chosen to suspend my apathy for the “final vote” to send David Wright to the All Star Game. He is narrowly trailing Corey Hart who doesn’t deserve a nomination due to his stupid name. I know many of you are supremely disappointed with the Mets of 2008 and last year’s collapse, but it isn’t really David’s fault. You know you’ll miss him if he isn’t there.

More Good News

With the Mets finally on a roll, despite Wag’s best efforts, if the Mets can take this last game, the Mets might be on a role for the first time in a long time. So of course, another injury had to pop up. According to Adam Rubin, Ryan Church is not on the DL but rather in New York being examined.

The Big Show

Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann are uniting again to host Football Night in America which will probably suck. Honestly, I used to love those two on Sportscenter, I think it even inspired an Aaron Sorkin TV show, but I’ve tried listening to Patrick’s radio show and it’s as boring as Sporting News Radio. Olbermann’s douchiness factor is through the roof and they are going to be on the same show with Bob Costas so there’s like a .0000000001% chance this will be tolerable. I think I’ve had the TV on during “Football Night in America” last season and I remember being confused as to what the hell was going on. I couldn’t figure out if it was a highlight show or some kind of pregame show. Then I changed the channel to the Simpsons. Olbermann and Patrick should have never left the “Big Show” in the first place. If they hadn’t, Stuart Scott might be selling used cars today. In an unrelated note, Kilborn should have never left the Daily Show.

With the Mets on a mini-roll, a win tonight might do something to energize the fan base. The way this season’s been going the Mets will lose 13-1 or something ridiculous. I think every Mets fan has come to terms with the fact that the Mets aren’t the team to beat. Climbing to 2.5 games back might stir the ashes of this so far failed season. Hand Pedro the ball. Give me a reason to be excited again.

Posted under Uncategorized, Unsubstantiated Rumors

That about sums up my feelings on the Mets this season. I almost wish the Phils or Fish would pull away with the East and eliminate any false hopes I subconsciously harbor.

I don’t know why I need the twelve bucks but I’ll take it.

Let’s go Mets, I guess…

Posted under Uncategorized

A four game sweep at the hands of the hated Braves. To say this team is underachieving would be a severe understatement. I’ve been defending Willie all year but something has got to change. I’ve been waiting for this team to snap out of whatever funk has been lingering since September.

I have been under the impression that the Manager has little effect on the field or the outcome of the game. A manger’s bullpen management can win or lose a game; though if Willie would like to put his job on the line with his track record for bullpen management, he shouldn’t bother to get on the plane. The most important role of a major league manager is massaging egos. Randolph cannot simply instruct Reyes to start hitting, or order strikeouts from Oliver Perez. There is too much talent on the 2008 Mets to be this mediocre. Ryan Church has kept the Mets in a division with no clear cut favorite.

Something has to change. Is it all Willie’s fault? Probably not, but it is the easiest change to make. I don’t see it solving all of the teams problems, but is a change.

Honestly, I’m so sick of watching these halfhearted throw away losses night after night, any change would be a welcome one.

Posted under Uncategorized