Anyway, here’s a picture of David with a semi-hot piece of ass and some douche from America’s got talent wearing a vest, and an untucked shirt.

Also, check out the super cool Swatch watch David won at Chuckie Cheese playing skeeball earlier that day.

Hot Stove Season

As of Midnight on Friday, the exclusivity period ends on free agents. I’m not certain who I’m sold on this year, I do know who I don’t want. A few thoughts:

Manny Ramirez
I really hope Manny gets signed somewhere right away so we get spared the “Manny to the Mets” rumors we’ve read for the past three seasons. Omar would do a disservice to the Mets chasing Manny this year rather than solidifying rebuilding the bullpen and finding a power bat to anchor the lineup. (Note: Manny is not that bat)

Trevor Hoffman
I saw a note on Trevor Hoffman no longer dealing with the Padres front office. Hoffman’s probably a Hall of Famer, but at his age the Mets should definitely pass. Signing Hoffman means the Mets have learned nothing from the last two seasons.

K-Rod
Looks like K-Rod isn’t going to be an Angel next season, which sucks for us for a number of reasons
-I’ve cooled on the guy, with his delivery; he’s half a season away from a rotator cuff injury. For the money he wants, I don’t want to risk it. Also, saves are a stupid and overrated stat. Sign Fuentes and be done with it.
-K-Rod leaving Anahiem means they’ll too likely target Fuentes.

C.C. Sabathia
The “jewel of the free agent market” this year will surely be considered C.C. Sabathia. He is only 28 and accomplished front line starter, I’ve cooled. His weight bothers me. Take a look at this line:
21-8 3.48 ERA 2CG 222.2 IP 157 SO
Oh, that’s Bartolo Colon’s 2005 Cy Young season. Granted, Sabathia is a better pitcher but I see C.C. (get it?) as another Bartolo Colon. The extra weight makes him vulnerable for arm, back and shoulder problems. For the money he wants, the Mets could do better spending it elsewhere. Pass

I have a feeling we’re in for a pretty boring off-season.

Replacing Brett Favre a tough task and Green Bay Packers making it worse

I love a title written in broken English.

Hey, Pete got a new picture, I think he needs a haircut, what do you think:

…….Before….and….After

You’re an attractive man Pete, don’t think I haven’t noticed

So, all you need to know about Aaron Rodgers’ future in Green Bay can be neatly summarized by this quote: “He followed a legend, and how do you do that? It’s so unfair.”

That is all you need to know based on the above unqualified quote. Using “so” to start a sentence, especially the opening sentence, exemplifies the extraordinary literary incompetence that defines Pete Alfano.

No, that isn’t a Packers teammate describing Rodgers’ daunting task of replacing Brett Favre. It was a comment made by Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator Paul Hackett about Steve Young in an interview with the Sporting News in 1994.

Seriously man, you are going to open with a 14 year old quote that was completely wrong, uttered by a man comparing Young to his quarterback to illustrate whatever non-point you’ve come up with? Good work!

I know when I think about Super Bowl XXIX MVP and Hall of Famer, two time league MVP and seven time All-Pro, the adjective I would use to summarize his career is “unfair.”

The San Francisco 49ers had decided a year earlier that it was time for Joe Montana — four Super Bowl rings and title of greatest quarterback ever notwithstanding — to move on.

If the Packers knew Rodgers would be as good as Steve Young, the Packers would have cut Favre yesterday.

Young had taken over in 1991, while Montana was injured, and then, in ’93, the 49ers traded Montana to Kansas City, where he continued to shine.

For two years.

In the weaker AFC.

Meanwhile, Young sucked ass in San Francisco only winning the NFC West in 1992, 93, 94, 95 and 97 and a Superbowl of which he was MVP.

And, while Young was in the process of forging a Hall of Fame career of his own, including a Super Bowl victory, he was never fully embraced by Bay Area fans, who worshipped Montana.

From the same Sporting News piece: “This is the way it is for Young in San Francisco. When he wins, as he did two Mondays ago in the 49ers’ 44-14 victory over the Raiders, he walks off the field to resounding cheers. They love him.”

So winning is what really matters, no?

I don’t know that Young was never embraced. I knew a lot of Niner fans in the 90’s and I never met one that disliked Steve Young. I know that is anecdotal; but since Pete bases his opinion on nothing, why not?

The Sporting News story recounted how a billboard on the highway between old Candlestick Park and the 49ers’ practice facility in Santa Clara, Calif., encouraged fans to read the local paper to see who the Chiefs were playing that Sunday.

I wish there really was a billboard worded: “read the local paper to see who the Chiefs [are] playing that Sunday.” However, since that is a horrendously constructed sentence, I am going to assume Pete is paraphrasing here. Though I do remember reading how Bill Walsh elected to implement his west coast offense after passing a roadside billboard that read: “Throw to receivers pass good, running game fewer.”

According to the Sporting News piece I assume Pete is referring, the sign really read:
“Who’s K.C. Playing This Week? Better Check the San Jose Mercury News.”

If there is one way to dictate how you run your football franchise, it’s the ad campaign of the San Jose Mercury News.

The story said that there were more fans wearing Montana jerseys than Young jerseys at 49ers games well after Montana was gone.

Before the whole dog fighting thing, Michael Vick was a top jersey seller. Want him on your team? Anyway, here are the top sellers from 2007 since that is such an important factor in determining your franchise quarterback:

1. RB LaDainian Tomlinson (Chargers)
2. RB Reggie Bush (Saints)
3. Brian Urlacher (Bears)
4. Peyton Manning (Colts)
5. Brett Favre (Packers)
6. Tom Brady (Patriots)
7. Troy Polamalu (Steelers)
8. Vince Young (Titans)
9. Adrian Peterson (Vikings)
10. Randy Moss (Patriots)

Brent Jones, the tight end who had been one of Montana’s favorite targets, told the Sporting News, “There’s never going to be another Joe, and Steve knows that.”

Jones then added, “And I mean never. I hope his kids read this and realize their father is an utter failure. I [expletive] hate Mormons!” OK, I made that part up, but I would like to point out the quote is from the same freaking article.

What this means is that the Favre-Packers soap opera is only delaying the inevitable.

Which is?

It really doesn’t matter whether the Packers continued to welcome Favre back with open arms — even given his penchant for playing Hamlet during the off-season — or trade him so that the Rodgers era can begin.

Oh, sorry, I thought you were going to make a point here, my bad.

In fact, it doesn’t matter who ultimately replaces Favre because Cheese Heads are going to pine for No. 4 whether he is wearing another team’s jersey or fishing in Mississippi.

Factors on whether a franchise is successful:

1. Cheese Heads pining for No. 4
2. Ratio of ex-active players to active players jersey’s worn in stadium
3. Win-loss record

Ever hear of Richard Todd? He was a quarterback at Alabama who was drafted by the New York Jets in 1976 to succeed Joe Namath, another ’Bama quarterback in the gimpy twilight of his career. Todd had a decent 10-year career, but he was no Broadway Joe.

This might be the most pointless Alfano piece I’ve ever read. So what, it wasn’t like Namath would have played until 1986. Besides that, Namath probably shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame based on his numbers and one lucky Superbowl. Honestly, what’s the point?

How many lemons — among them Cleo Lemon — have the Miami Dolphins had at quarterback trying to succeed Dan Marino?

Hiiiiighoooooo!…

*sad trombone sound*

Do you think Jake Cutler is having an easy time making people forget John Elway in Denver?

Whoever Jake Cutler is, he hasn’t made me forget John Elway at all. In fact I had to google Jake Cutler and found out he is a high school junior that plays running back/linebacker for the Pana Panthers of Pana, IL. I really don’t see how he would hope to make people forget Elway since he’s only in high school, doesn’t play quarterback and isn’t even in Colorado.

If Pete is referring to Jay Christopher Cutler who is currently playing for Denver, it’s a lot easier than if Elway was playing in the NFL. Regardless, I haven’t heard of any “Bring Back Elway” movements in the Rockies.

And Tony Romo should give thanks every day for “Q,” a couple of guys named Drew, and Chad and Vinny — quarterbacks that Cowboy fans will never confuse with Troy Aikman. But they did form a bridge that has made it possible for Romo to be judged mostly on his own merits.

Or was it that Romo won? Hmmmm, that’s a toughy…

If Rodgers has a bridge, he may seriously think about jumping off it.

Oh Pete, you actually broke your metaphor.

He is entering the fourth year of a five-year contract that he signed when the Packers drafted him out of Cal in 2005. He has had the benefit of being tutored by one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history, but that’s his curse, too.

Pete is going to state the obvious and ask some questions now. Anybody watch Generation Kill? It’s pretty good so far.

That’s why the Packers have been foolish to play hardball with Favre. They know as well as anyone that he gives them the best chance of making another run at the Super Bowl. They also don’t have to be reminded that they have a championship caliber team with three quarterbacks — Rodgers and rookies Brian Brohm and Matt Flynn — who have never started an NFL game.

David Simon is greatness, I loved the Wire.

How is it going to look if Favre continues to excel this season somewhere else while the kids all struggle?

I think the Humvee driver is the same guy from The Wire season 2. As the great warrior poet Ice Cube wrote, “A day which does not require an AK…is good.”

But perhaps the Packers are also figuring that continuing to cater to Favre’s whims means that, in a couple of years, they probably won’t have him or Rodgers.

Probably won’t have both Favre and Rodgers? “Probably” is the adverb you chose there instead of, I don’t know, definitely or certainly.

The reality is that is probably going to happen anyway.
PETE ALFANO, 817-390-7985

That is poor writing and bare minimum research at its finest.

So allow me to summarize this piece for you (that is if you’re still reading this) to a shorter version:
Aaron Rodgers is doomed in Green Bay no matter how good he is because even though it worked out for Steve Young in SF, it didn’t for Jake Cutler in Pana and Cleo Lemon in Miami but it doesn’t matter anyway because, man, who knows…

He could have done us a favor and just reprinted the Sporting News article.