An unnamed source close to the Ramirez camp indicated Ramirez may have failed the test on intentionally. The 12-time all-star and nine time Silver Slugger award winner may be looking to put the period at the end of his hall of fame career in the Big Apple. The unnamed source was quoted off the record as bizarrely stating flippantly, “It’s just another case of Manny being Manny.”

Throughout his career, rumors of ‘Manny to the Mets’ circulated at every winter meeting, hot stove radio topics and trade deadline during the outfielder’s career. It seems that in 2011, it may finally become a reality.

In Flushing, after financial troubles, and underwhelming offseason and poor start to the season Mets ownership feels that Ramirez may be the last piece for a team looking to recreate the magic of Mets’ years past. When reached for comment from his usual perch inside a Manhattan strip club, CEO, Jeff Wilpon stated, “We haven’t done enough in recent years to squander the goodwill that 2006 brought back to the fan base. The collapses weren’t soul crushing enough. Heck, when we announce the Reyes trade in a few months, that might not even do it. Going back as far as the early 90’s we’ve always brought in big names or potential hall of famers like Eddie Murray, Frank Viola, Bobby Bonilla, Roberto Alomar and Mo [Vaughn] that really deflated the fan base, and I think a Manny Ramirez type player would really fit that tradition” before taking a body shot off a club employee. “Lets see’em sue us for that contract.”

Ramirez, a native of the Dominican Republic growing up in New York feels that his erratic behavior in Boston may exclude him from consideration in the eyes of most teams won’t affect his chances of playing in Citi Field’s outfield. “They signed Vince Coleman for Gods sakes, why not Manny?” Ramirez said by phone referring to himself in the third person. “I could snort coke in the outfield and I’d look like a saint. Seriously, though, why wouldn’t Manny make a great addition to that outfield? I mean, look, Pagan is great, but who wouldn’t want three underperforming injury prone outfielders?” apparently referring to Mets outfielders Jason Bay and Carlos Beltran.

While Sandy Alderson was unavailable for comment, an assistant responded, “Who is this? How did you get this number? It’s not like we’re a joke…” and began gently sobbing. While not all reactions to the rumors were negative. “I just wanted to be able to write the last Manny to the Mets story of all time.” Lonestar Met slurred in between whiskey shots from his barstool, “It’s a real honor” he finished making air quotes and while chain-smoking Pall Malls.

Ditch Castillo. I know he’s got that ridiculous contract, so what. Offload him somewhere. The Mets will have to pay the lion’s share of the freight, so what. He’s not getting any younger or healthier and New York isn’t going to be any easier a place to play in the next few years. This guy could be the next Kaz Matsui except with more trips to the DL. And don’t whine about the economy, use the money you were going to give Bernie Madoff and pay his way out of town.

Give Murphy secondbase to lose Let the guy compete for the deuce in Port St. Lucie. Is Dan Murphy the next piece of the Mets long term core? Hellifiknow. Let’s find out. It beats the hell out of watching Castillo flail at outside pitches all year.

Trade for Nady I may have already written a thousand articles advocating a trade for Nady but since he’s no longer under control of the Pirates and rumored to be shopped by the Yanks, make the deal now. We know Nady. Nady works in New York; sign him now.

Bring Uncle Cliff Back. I have railed against the Mets signing aging players and expecting results many, many times in the past. This is different. Cliffy Floyd won’t be expected to play everyday, shoot, he only played in 80 games last year. Cliff is respected as a veteran leader and clubhouse presence and it isn’t like he’s say, oh I don’t know, a 42 year old player who pees on his hands. I always felt that Cliff’s departure took away some of the great chemistry the Mets had in 2006. Omar is going to bring in some aging has been anyway, might as well be someone we already love.

Sure these moves aren’t as sexy as signing Manny Ramirez. Let’s face it; that is never going to happen. The above moves can allow Omar to concentrate on shoring up the rotation when and if Boras ever decides to let one of his clients sign.

Ah, the holiday season. Eggnog, bowl games, shopping malls, department store Santa Clauses and stupid articles written by Pete Alfano bemoaning the New York team’s payrolls. We’ve also learned that Pete’s a communist and has wanted a bad economy for years. Its like a Christmas miracle. I guess this works for me because this year I wanted to see what would happen when a man who barely has a grasp on baseball, is badly informed on the economy and doesn’t know anything about anything would try and write a column about those subjects. That’s Christmas man, that’s Christmas. Let’s get into it:

Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets
By Pete Alfano

This is the season of giving, and it got us thinking: Wouldn’t it be in the spirit of the holidays if the New York Yankees gift-wrapped a player or two for some of the more needy teams in baseball?

What the hell does that mean? Really, what could that even mean?

There might be a recession going on, but the Yankees just committed more than $240 million to a couple of starting pitchers who don’t even use their first name — CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. Given the speculation that the Yankees are ready to spend even more of the same on Mark Teixeira, Manny Ramirez, Derek Lowe and/or Ben Sheets, we’re starting to believe that the Steinbrenner family has the resources to bail out the auto industry.

Har-har! Topical humor regarding the economy. Who doesn’t pick up the sports page to read more about bail outs? Speaking of which, the fact that this guy gets paid to write a weekly column this inane when the newspaper industry is dying is mind boggling.

The Yankees and their cross-borough rivals, the Mets, are moving into new stadiums next season. Both teams have their own TV networks and don’t seem to be lacking for a healthy season ticket base or corporate sponsorship. Well, maybe the Mets ought to thank the Federal government for saving Citibank, which has paid handsomely for the naming rights to the Mets’ new digs.

Ironically the WIlpons lost what is believed to be around 300 million dollars in a Ponzi scheme. I say ironically because the mastermind behind that scheme: Pete Alfano.*

*I may have misread the story.

And although the Mets signed Francisco Rodriguez — who set the single-season saves record with 62 last season — it was for a package about two years and $20 million short of what K-Rod and his agent had dancing in their sugar plum heads before the stock market crash.

I really have no idea what point he’s trying to make here. If the entire point of this nonsense is that ” Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets” he just invalidated his entire point. Get ready for the next Non sequitur:

Baseball free agency has led to a perception that the sport doesn’t realize that economic hard times have arrived, but that is largely because of what the Yankees can and are willing to spend on free agents.

Look, Pete’s been griping about the economy for at least two years now. I swear that’s the only theme he can write in when it comes to baseball. That’s fine. But he should at least stay consistent. The man constantly complaining that baseball make too much money now frets the impact the economy will have on baseball.

Notice that no one is beating down Ramirez’s door, and while Teixeira will get a lucrative deal, most of the free- agent class is signing or will be signing discounted contracts.

It’s called the free market but maybe someday those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrade?

In fact, baseball ultimately might be in a more precarious position than the other team sports — football, basketball and hockey — because it doesn’t have a salary cap that makes all teams created equal, to some degree, anyway.

It has a luxury tax, which is the kinda the same thing, seeing as how all this Yankee spending you’re crying about benefits the poorer teams in the league. Before you publish a baseball article you should think about the premise for more than 3 seconds and more importantly, learn how baseball works.

But if you look at the LPGA, which is reducing its schedule next year; Arena Football League, which considered cancelling the 2009 season; and NASCAR, where teams are losing sponsorships and the financial problems of the big three automakers have a direct impact, there is no denying that sports will feel the effects of the current economic climate.

Ah, nothing says Americana than ladies golf and Arena Football. What is the world coming to when the LPGA and Arena Football have to downsize? Seriously, what percentage of Americans could name an arena league player other than Kurt Warner? .000001%.

And the LPGA? The LPGA would probably do better if women haven’t crossed over. It is the same thing as blaming the economy for the Negro Leagues dying after Jackie and Larry Doby broke the color barriers.

Regardless, I think both LPGA and Arena football ratings are lower than ESPN Poker. I think more people read this crappy website than watch those sports combined. (That’s a burn)

For baseball, that might not come until the early summer. Remember, teams play twice as many games as their counterparts in the NBA and NHL, and the NFL has only eight home games. The seating capacity of baseball stadiums is, on average, about 2 1/2 times greater than an arena. That means teams rely a great deal on walk-up business, fans who decide on the day of a game to take the family to the ballpark.

Attendance has been trending up over the past few years. Even if it goes down this year, it will likely be higher than it was in 2003. Did he do any research whatsoever before writing this? And what does any of this have to do with, “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets”

Attendance might still be strong in April and May when everyone is in contention, but after the bottom feeders find their rightful place, there might not be much incentive for anyone to spend the small fortune it takes to take the family to a game.

Because, the Royals, Pirates and Nats usually sell out every home game. But by all means, let a dip in Mariners home game attendance encourage you to horde gas, steal food. Don’t trust you neighbors, bottle your urine.

And this isn’t just about small-market teams, either. How will the Detroit Tigers fare in the Motor City, where many of their fans might be employed by the automakers? Even if GM, Chrysler and Ford remain solvent, it appears that layoffs and salary cuts are inevitable for the rank and file.

Drivel, and also nothing to do with the Mets or the Yankees weathering bad economic times.

San Diego is not a major market team when compared to Los Angeles, Chicago or New York, but the Padres shouldn’t have to take a page from the Florida Marlins’ economic playbook by trying to unload pitcher Jake Peavy — one of the best in the game — to cut costs. He makes $11 million a year and the team payroll is a paltry $40 million. Even though the owner is going through a divorce and basically is freezing assets, it doesn’t explain the Padres’ desperate measures.

Well you kinda just did there Petey.

This can’t bode well for franchises such as Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Oakland.

Because they usually sell standing room only seats for August home games, right?

Network television contracts negotiated a few years ago might help professional sports leagues weather the recession. Certainly, this isn’t the first economic downturn they experienced. But the stakes are higher now with more teams, higher costs and more competition for the entertainment dollar.

So basically nothing is going to change anywhere. What any of this has to do with “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets”

So, the new Yankee Stadium might be one of the few places where it will be business as usual next summer.

What about the Mets? Did you forget your own title? This is so stupid. Baseball will be fine. Go wet your panties somewhere else.

Now, do you think Tom Hicks can persuade the Steinbrenners to play Santa Claus and leave Sheets under the Rangers’ tree?

I don’t know what that even means. Is he advocating the Yankees pay part of the Rangers payroll? Is he suggesting that the Yankees management negotiate a contract on behalf of the Ranger organization?

This may be the most pointless article Pete’s ever written, and that’s saying something. He could have at least lobbied for lower concession prices or something. Also; He mentioned the Mets once in this entire article, despite the title: “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets.” A more apt title would have been, “I’m an idiot” by Pete Alfano.
Merry Christmas from Lonestar Mets!

Anyway, here’s a picture of David with a semi-hot piece of ass and some douche from America’s got talent wearing a vest, and an untucked shirt.

Also, check out the super cool Swatch watch David won at Chuckie Cheese playing skeeball earlier that day.

Hot Stove Season

As of Midnight on Friday, the exclusivity period ends on free agents. I’m not certain who I’m sold on this year, I do know who I don’t want. A few thoughts:

Manny Ramirez
I really hope Manny gets signed somewhere right away so we get spared the “Manny to the Mets” rumors we’ve read for the past three seasons. Omar would do a disservice to the Mets chasing Manny this year rather than solidifying rebuilding the bullpen and finding a power bat to anchor the lineup. (Note: Manny is not that bat)

Trevor Hoffman
I saw a note on Trevor Hoffman no longer dealing with the Padres front office. Hoffman’s probably a Hall of Famer, but at his age the Mets should definitely pass. Signing Hoffman means the Mets have learned nothing from the last two seasons.

K-Rod
Looks like K-Rod isn’t going to be an Angel next season, which sucks for us for a number of reasons
-I’ve cooled on the guy, with his delivery; he’s half a season away from a rotator cuff injury. For the money he wants, I don’t want to risk it. Also, saves are a stupid and overrated stat. Sign Fuentes and be done with it.
-K-Rod leaving Anahiem means they’ll too likely target Fuentes.

C.C. Sabathia
The “jewel of the free agent market” this year will surely be considered C.C. Sabathia. He is only 28 and accomplished front line starter, I’ve cooled. His weight bothers me. Take a look at this line:
21-8 3.48 ERA 2CG 222.2 IP 157 SO
Oh, that’s Bartolo Colon’s 2005 Cy Young season. Granted, Sabathia is a better pitcher but I see C.C. (get it?) as another Bartolo Colon. The extra weight makes him vulnerable for arm, back and shoulder problems. For the money he wants, the Mets could do better spending it elsewhere. Pass

I have a feeling we’re in for a pretty boring off-season.

Contrary to the denials that made the rounds Monday, officials from both teams say the Mets have contacted the Red Sox about Manny Ramirez and are interested in pursuing a deal for him if Boston decides to make him available.

The Red Sox suspect that GM Omar Minaya wants Ramirez more than Mets ownership does. Regardless, the Mets are reluctant to part with top-prospect talent in exchange for outfielders like Adam Dunn, Raul Ibanez and Randy Winn, but they (rightly) consider Ramirez a far superior hitter to those in that group, and they would discuss players in a Ramirez deal that they would not discuss in others.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was “totally just jerking Graziano’s chain”, said a deal was probably too complicated to get completed before Thursday’s deadline.

You know, I like a Manny to the Mets rumor. It makes a fan feel good. And why shouldn’t it? Ya figure you put that little rumor under your pillow at night, the Dan Graziano might come by and leave a quarter, am I right?

The point is, how do you know Dan Graziano isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Build model airplanes” says Graziano; well, we’re not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that’s all it takes. The next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser, and your daughter’s knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Tommy Boy quotes aside, Yes Omar loves Manny. You know who else he also loves? Sammy Sosa. Do you see Sammy Sosa playing right field in orange and blue?

In actual news, MLB.com is reporting that the Angels and Braves are close to completing a deal with Mark Teixeira which at least keeps him out of the National League East and the NL in general.

As fun as Manny Mania is, the Mets desperately need another arm in the bullpen or we are going to be watching a lot more five run eighth innings. If Mets management is dead set against trading a prospect, it’s going to be an awfully long August and September. Lets hope Eddie Kunz gets major league ready fast.

For right now, anyway, in Omar I trust.