Ah, the holiday season. Eggnog, bowl games, shopping malls, department store Santa Clauses and stupid articles written by Pete Alfano bemoaning the New York team’s payrolls. We’ve also learned that Pete’s a communist and has wanted a bad economy for years. Its like a Christmas miracle. I guess this works for me because this year I wanted to see what would happen when a man who barely has a grasp on baseball, is badly informed on the economy and doesn’t know anything about anything would try and write a column about those subjects. That’s Christmas man, that’s Christmas. Let’s get into it:

Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets
By Pete Alfano

This is the season of giving, and it got us thinking: Wouldn’t it be in the spirit of the holidays if the New York Yankees gift-wrapped a player or two for some of the more needy teams in baseball?

What the hell does that mean? Really, what could that even mean?

There might be a recession going on, but the Yankees just committed more than $240 million to a couple of starting pitchers who don’t even use their first name — CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. Given the speculation that the Yankees are ready to spend even more of the same on Mark Teixeira, Manny Ramirez, Derek Lowe and/or Ben Sheets, we’re starting to believe that the Steinbrenner family has the resources to bail out the auto industry.

Har-har! Topical humor regarding the economy. Who doesn’t pick up the sports page to read more about bail outs? Speaking of which, the fact that this guy gets paid to write a weekly column this inane when the newspaper industry is dying is mind boggling.

The Yankees and their cross-borough rivals, the Mets, are moving into new stadiums next season. Both teams have their own TV networks and don’t seem to be lacking for a healthy season ticket base or corporate sponsorship. Well, maybe the Mets ought to thank the Federal government for saving Citibank, which has paid handsomely for the naming rights to the Mets’ new digs.

Ironically the WIlpons lost what is believed to be around 300 million dollars in a Ponzi scheme. I say ironically because the mastermind behind that scheme: Pete Alfano.*

*I may have misread the story.

And although the Mets signed Francisco Rodriguez — who set the single-season saves record with 62 last season — it was for a package about two years and $20 million short of what K-Rod and his agent had dancing in their sugar plum heads before the stock market crash.

I really have no idea what point he’s trying to make here. If the entire point of this nonsense is that ” Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets” he just invalidated his entire point. Get ready for the next Non sequitur:

Baseball free agency has led to a perception that the sport doesn’t realize that economic hard times have arrived, but that is largely because of what the Yankees can and are willing to spend on free agents.

Look, Pete’s been griping about the economy for at least two years now. I swear that’s the only theme he can write in when it comes to baseball. That’s fine. But he should at least stay consistent. The man constantly complaining that baseball make too much money now frets the impact the economy will have on baseball.

Notice that no one is beating down Ramirez’s door, and while Teixeira will get a lucrative deal, most of the free- agent class is signing or will be signing discounted contracts.

It’s called the free market but maybe someday those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrade?

In fact, baseball ultimately might be in a more precarious position than the other team sports — football, basketball and hockey — because it doesn’t have a salary cap that makes all teams created equal, to some degree, anyway.

It has a luxury tax, which is the kinda the same thing, seeing as how all this Yankee spending you’re crying about benefits the poorer teams in the league. Before you publish a baseball article you should think about the premise for more than 3 seconds and more importantly, learn how baseball works.

But if you look at the LPGA, which is reducing its schedule next year; Arena Football League, which considered cancelling the 2009 season; and NASCAR, where teams are losing sponsorships and the financial problems of the big three automakers have a direct impact, there is no denying that sports will feel the effects of the current economic climate.

Ah, nothing says Americana than ladies golf and Arena Football. What is the world coming to when the LPGA and Arena Football have to downsize? Seriously, what percentage of Americans could name an arena league player other than Kurt Warner? .000001%.

And the LPGA? The LPGA would probably do better if women haven’t crossed over. It is the same thing as blaming the economy for the Negro Leagues dying after Jackie and Larry Doby broke the color barriers.

Regardless, I think both LPGA and Arena football ratings are lower than ESPN Poker. I think more people read this crappy website than watch those sports combined. (That’s a burn)

For baseball, that might not come until the early summer. Remember, teams play twice as many games as their counterparts in the NBA and NHL, and the NFL has only eight home games. The seating capacity of baseball stadiums is, on average, about 2 1/2 times greater than an arena. That means teams rely a great deal on walk-up business, fans who decide on the day of a game to take the family to the ballpark.

Attendance has been trending up over the past few years. Even if it goes down this year, it will likely be higher than it was in 2003. Did he do any research whatsoever before writing this? And what does any of this have to do with, “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets”

Attendance might still be strong in April and May when everyone is in contention, but after the bottom feeders find their rightful place, there might not be much incentive for anyone to spend the small fortune it takes to take the family to a game.

Because, the Royals, Pirates and Nats usually sell out every home game. But by all means, let a dip in Mariners home game attendance encourage you to horde gas, steal food. Don’t trust you neighbors, bottle your urine.

And this isn’t just about small-market teams, either. How will the Detroit Tigers fare in the Motor City, where many of their fans might be employed by the automakers? Even if GM, Chrysler and Ford remain solvent, it appears that layoffs and salary cuts are inevitable for the rank and file.

Drivel, and also nothing to do with the Mets or the Yankees weathering bad economic times.

San Diego is not a major market team when compared to Los Angeles, Chicago or New York, but the Padres shouldn’t have to take a page from the Florida Marlins’ economic playbook by trying to unload pitcher Jake Peavy — one of the best in the game — to cut costs. He makes $11 million a year and the team payroll is a paltry $40 million. Even though the owner is going through a divorce and basically is freezing assets, it doesn’t explain the Padres’ desperate measures.

Well you kinda just did there Petey.

This can’t bode well for franchises such as Pittsburgh, Kansas City and Oakland.

Because they usually sell standing room only seats for August home games, right?

Network television contracts negotiated a few years ago might help professional sports leagues weather the recession. Certainly, this isn’t the first economic downturn they experienced. But the stakes are higher now with more teams, higher costs and more competition for the entertainment dollar.

So basically nothing is going to change anywhere. What any of this has to do with “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets”

So, the new Yankee Stadium might be one of the few places where it will be business as usual next summer.

What about the Mets? Did you forget your own title? This is so stupid. Baseball will be fine. Go wet your panties somewhere else.

Now, do you think Tom Hicks can persuade the Steinbrenners to play Santa Claus and leave Sheets under the Rangers’ tree?

I don’t know what that even means. Is he advocating the Yankees pay part of the Rangers payroll? Is he suggesting that the Yankees management negotiate a contract on behalf of the Ranger organization?

This may be the most pointless article Pete’s ever written, and that’s saying something. He could have at least lobbied for lower concession prices or something. Also; He mentioned the Mets once in this entire article, despite the title: “Economic hard times? Not for Yankees or Mets.” A more apt title would have been, “I’m an idiot” by Pete Alfano.
Merry Christmas from Lonestar Mets!

Contrary to the denials that made the rounds Monday, officials from both teams say the Mets have contacted the Red Sox about Manny Ramirez and are interested in pursuing a deal for him if Boston decides to make him available.

The Red Sox suspect that GM Omar Minaya wants Ramirez more than Mets ownership does. Regardless, the Mets are reluctant to part with top-prospect talent in exchange for outfielders like Adam Dunn, Raul Ibanez and Randy Winn, but they (rightly) consider Ramirez a far superior hitter to those in that group, and they would discuss players in a Ramirez deal that they would not discuss in others.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was “totally just jerking Graziano’s chain”, said a deal was probably too complicated to get completed before Thursday’s deadline.

You know, I like a Manny to the Mets rumor. It makes a fan feel good. And why shouldn’t it? Ya figure you put that little rumor under your pillow at night, the Dan Graziano might come by and leave a quarter, am I right?

The point is, how do you know Dan Graziano isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Build model airplanes” says Graziano; well, we’re not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that’s all it takes. The next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser, and your daughter’s knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Tommy Boy quotes aside, Yes Omar loves Manny. You know who else he also loves? Sammy Sosa. Do you see Sammy Sosa playing right field in orange and blue?

In actual news, MLB.com is reporting that the Angels and Braves are close to completing a deal with Mark Teixeira which at least keeps him out of the National League East and the NL in general.

As fun as Manny Mania is, the Mets desperately need another arm in the bullpen or we are going to be watching a lot more five run eighth innings. If Mets management is dead set against trading a prospect, it’s going to be an awfully long August and September. Lets hope Eddie Kunz gets major league ready fast.

For right now, anyway, in Omar I trust.